Guess what I’ve discovered recently?
I’m a crazy person!
I’m full of passion, anger, jealousy and everything in between. Feels good to say it “out loud” on paper, on the Internet!
I’m learning to be okay with this. There are a few things that I would like to change but over all I’m pretty satisfied with this reality.
At a young age I was diagnosed with severe depression. About 6 months ago I had recently started taking new meds that my doctor suggested. I’m almost 100% positive that this is why I’ve been feeling the way I have. N0w I know it’s not the whole reason because there are a few things aside from that that I know have contributed to my recent state of mind.
About 5 days ago I decided to go off all meds completely. I don’t think I’ve ever felt so clear headed in my life. Normally I only have 2 reactions to situations that I’m faced with. I either get angry and sad and just burst into tears at any moment, or I just sorta ignore it and don’t have any feelings towards it or anything whatsoever.
I know I’m not cured but I’m actually able, for the first time, to seek alternative ways to approach my situation. And this is a comforting feeling!
In other news I’ve picked up a few new good habits.
Rock wall climbing. The first time I did this was with a group of extremely girly chicks and I was the only one not complaining about my make-up or my hair or my nails. Seriously? Who in their right mind would go to a rock gym and complain about those things? I don’t understand how they don’t feel embarrassed. Anyways, I love this new habit of mine.
Kayaking. This is something I’ve wanted to try forever and about a month ago I woke up one Saturday at like 6 am and said to myself. Hey. I’m going to go kayaking today. And I did. And I loved it. The only thing that scared the frick out of me was the fact that in Armond Bayou Park there are gators everywhere. It was just me alone in my kayak at 7 am in gator infested waters. Yowz.
That’s all she wrote.
for now at least.