Brick wall

I just can’t seem to get passed this. I’m constantly just breaking down. I think it’s because I never got closure. I’m the kind of person who needs to hear something in order for me to accept it. Just tell me to go away and I goddamn will.

Freaking heartbreak. I rather get stabbed in the stomach or punched in the face. At least the pain from that is something that can be numbed. Heartbreak, heartbreak is torture. It’s not being able to breath. Replaying the past and trying to figure out how you could have changed it. And being alone while your heart is being broken is THE absolute worst feeling in the world.

I know it’ll get easier. I know I wont always feel this sad, but I just wish I didn’t have to feel it at all. I wish I could go back to the first day that we spoke and un-speak. I wish I could go back to the first night we kissed and un kiss. Goddamn it and goddamn ME.

I hate being a girl.

I hate being THAT girl who gets all crazy over a boy who isn’t crazy over her.


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